You’ve met him—a man who is genuinely sweet, funny, hot, and all yours! You’re completely and utterly head over heels in love. Everything is seemingly perfect, but you may have overlooked the one thing that can put an end to your relationship—your money beliefs.
Chances are that the way you relate to money is drastically different from the way your significant other relates to money. Every person has financial beliefs and behaviors. This is what I refer to as a story: You’ve had a money story your entire life. In almost all cases, it was passed down from generation to generation. You inherited your parents’ money habits, and they inherited it from your grandparents.
Money is still one of the leading causes of divorce in the United States. It is just as important to release limiting money beliefs, as it is to work on your communication skills. Healthy money stories lead to lasting relationships. Before you start picking out wedding dresses, let’s take a look at three money behaviors that may scare off Mr. Right:
Dior, Fendi, and Prada are your best friends and your man’s worst enemy. While material things are nice to have, it’s the extreme focus on them that can get us into trouble. Most men enter into relationships with an ingrained belief of being the provider. Society sees the breadwinner as a masculine responsibility. Too much focus on material items can put undue stress on a man. On top of being overworked and stressed out, he now feels like he’ll never be able to satisfy you. This is psychologically and financially draining to Mr. Right. Start to find joy in intangible things and give your man some breathing room.
You hate to spend money. Your clothes are old, ripped, and falling apart. Not only is this a sign of a poor relationship with money, but a signal of low self-worth. Mr. Right may really like you right now, but when contemplating his future he may start to see you as a woman who is incapable of taking care of herself. This can be very disconcerting to a man, especially if he wants children.
Women with low self-worth generally rely on sources outside of themselves to boost their confidence. When you’re in a relationship, your significant other is the one you turn to for a pick-me-up. If you really love your man and can see a future with him, learn to love yourself. You are the only person who can complete you.
Throw away the beat up clothes and purchase that shirt you’ve been eyeing at the store. You are worth it.
Miss Too Independent
You’ve put in the time and hard work to get where you are in your career. You take pride in having done it all by yourself and not having to rely on a man. Success is inspiring, but can be slightly intimidating to a man. In the role of provider, men are used to contributing financially. When you take that away, most men don’t know how to act in relationships. Going out of the way to pay for things is like adding salt to a wound. Men need to know how they can contribute to your life. He needs to know that he can take care of you in some way. Let him do something for you, even if it’s a small task. It is important for a man to feel like he is helping.
Money is a touchy subject for most couples. When you have a healthy relationship with your finances, it’s easier to talk about money from a place of love instead of a place of fear. You can begin to discover what your money story is by logging into your bank account regularly. Pay close attention to the feelings you experience when you see your balance. Is it positive or negative? Do you feel inspired or depressed? If you feel disempowered financially, you are more likely to feel disempowered in your romantic relationships. Don’t let a money belief scare off Mr. Right. Start to rewrite your money story today.
Chelsea Logan is a successful serial entrepreneur and money and lifestyle coach. As a highly sought-after expert and media personality, she shares her experience and divinely inspired insights as to how to create a conscious, fulfilling, and dynamic life. She can be found online at MoneyMenLife.com